nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
