now i know why i became what i already was.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
