One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
