I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
