yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
