Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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