The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
