Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
