Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
