im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Your tits are I can't wait for
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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