Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
