turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
