Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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