Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
