Whod you bang
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
