i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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