Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize