whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
