i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
