Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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