everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Randomize
