I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
