did you get engaged???
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
