Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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