New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
