Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
handjob tips. give me some.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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