I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
