There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
