I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
