i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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