I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
