Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
