Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
