Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize