No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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