we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Alive.
So much puke
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
