Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
