You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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