It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
