Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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