How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
