Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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