I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
No subtext here. People are naked.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
