Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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