I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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