If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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