I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
