Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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