I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
