Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
