he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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