FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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