Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
