Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i've created a new STD.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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