Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
