I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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