Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
