Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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