all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
