The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
