i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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