It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Liz is crying about burritos again.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
