In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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