The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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